Parenting can be one of life’s most joyous experiences. And can bring with it many rewards: the warmth of cuddling with a baby; proudly watching as a toddler takes a first step, or tearfully putting your little one on a school bus for the first time! However, parenting can also be the hardest, most demanding job you’ll ever undertake. It means being responsible for the care and nurture of a child for at least 18 years. It requires dedication, patience, and sacrifice.

As you continue through your options with an unplanned pregnancy, single parenting should be considered. However, before deciding to single parent you have a lot of decisions to make and there are a number of things for you to think about. That is why Nebraska Children’s Home Society is here to help.

WHAT TO CONSIDER:
Raising a child will definitely change your life in many ways. Not only will you be making decisions for yourself but also for your baby. There are several things for you to think about when considering single parenting:

• How will a baby change my everyday lifestyle?
• Where do I plan on living with my baby?
• Will my living arrangements provide enough space and storage for me and my baby?
• How often do I think I’ll need a babysitter and why?
• What am I currently doing to prepare for the baby financially and physically?
• Have I taken or am I interested in parenting classes?
• What expenses do I have right now and how am I paying for them?
• After my baby is born, who will be responsible for my personal needs, laundry, baby clothing and diapers, baby food and formula, medical costs, babysitting costs, and living expenses?
• Do I have transportation for me and my baby? Do I have a car seat for my child?
• Will I work to support myself and my child?
• Do I have a relationship with the father?
• What type of relationship would I like to have with the father?
• What type of relationship would I like with my family and friends?
• What about school?
• What are my dreams and life goals?
• What are my values?
• What are my alternatives?
• Who are my support systems?

We understand that these questions take time to think about. The Nebraska Children’s Home Society can help you. We have a variety of resources to help you with sorting through this decision and we also have confidential and professional case workers to provide education and support to you for a lifetime. That’s why we’re here…to help you make the best choice for your baby and you.

COMMON QUESTIONS ABOUT SINGLE PARENTING
What types of living arrangements are available for me and my baby?

It is important for you to have a plan for where you will be living if you choose to single parent. Look into your housing options. Some possibilities include living on your own, with the birth father, with your parents or the birth father’s parents, living in a group home for single mothers, or living in public, subsidized housing. Please note that in the State of Nebraska, no one under the age of 19 can rent an apartment or sign a contract of ownership. Look for an affordable and safe place. Consider your childcare options for your living arrangements. If you are in school, ask if your school offers daycare for students.

Where can I get help with baby equipment and supplies?
Community organizations and churches are willing to help with supplying needed baby items such as clothes, baby formula, diapers, cribs, and other baby necessities. For most organizations, paperwork must be filled out to verify a need for the resources. Please call us at Nebraska Children’s Home Society for further resources available to you in your local area.

How much does a baby cost?
There are many expenses with parenting and it is important for you to take the time and calculate all of your possible expenses and how you plan on paying for everything. According to the World Almanac Book of Facts, raising a child to one year is minimally between $5,950 and $8,240. Because the cost of a baby depends on a variety of factors, it is important for you to understand what your expenses will be. Essential baby costs include:

• Baby clothing and bedding
• Diapers
• Formula and/or Feeding equipment
• Living expenses
• Transportation & car seat
• Childcare/Daycare
• Towels and toiletries
• High chair/Stroller/Crib
• Medical check-ups
• Babysitter fees

Figuring out baby expenses can be confusing and frustrating. Please call us at Nebraska Children’s Home Society to work through and discuss all the costs involved with parenting.

Where can I get help financially?
If you are involved with the Aid to Dependent Children (ADC) program, you may be eligible for cash assistance for low-income families with minor children. ADC income is used to pay for family living expenses like rent, utilities, food, clothing, and other necessities. To be eligible for ADC cash assistance, a family must have a low monthly income. Please talk with Nebraska Children’s Home Society to discuss your financial options or visit the Nebraska Health and Human Services System website at http://www.hhs.state.ne.us for information on ADC.

In addition, an ADC family may receive benefits and services from other assistance programs as well. The household may be eligible for Food Stamps that are redeemable at retail stores to supplement their food supply. ADC children may also be eligible for Medicaid coverage. In addition, families may be eligible for subsidized child care to allow adults to participate in Employment First activities which prepare them for employment or help them remain employed. Please visit http://www.hhs.state.ne.us for further information on these programs.

Can I work and single parent?
Single parents are everywhere in the workplace and are able to provide financial support for themselves and their child. Working while single parenting can be satisfying because you are providing what your child needs financially on your own. Look for employers who provide childcare services to their employees. Some provide childcare at the office. Look into your options and remember that working and single parenting is achievable.

What if I don't have Medical Insurance or a Doctor?
Medicaid is a program funded by the State and federal government that provides medical care to those who cannot afford to pay for medically necessary services. Prenatal care and delivery of your baby is considered a necessary service. It is very important to apply for Medicaid if you do not have medical insurance. Please contact Nebraska Children's Home Society for more information on the Medicaid program or visit http://www.hhs.state.ne.us.

What are Food Stamps?
The Food Stamp program helps low-income families buy food. Food Stamps are coupons that are used like money to purchase food only. Food stamps are provided to families free of charge if they meet the program guidelines for income and resources. To apply and learn more about food stamps visit http://www.hhs.state.ne.us.

Can I be forced to quit school?
No one will force you to quit school. Most schools encourage you to continue your education and some even offer resources for single parents such as childcare, night classes, loans, and even transportation. While you adjust to single parenting, you may want to consider taking a semester off from school. However, it is important to stay in school. Staying in school will make you feel better about yourself and put you in a position to get a better job. A better job will help you provide for yourself and your baby.

What if I want to drop out of school?
It is very difficult to get a good job without an education and you'll be dependent on public aid to take care of yourself and your baby. You can feel very trapped in this situation. Please contact Nebraska Children's Home Society if you want to drop out of school…there may be other alternatives for you.

How will my dating change as a single parent?
It is good to think about how much time you would like to put into a relationship or into dating once you are parenting. Your dating will probably be limited as a single parent. Your child will demand most of your attention most of the time. Some people you date may not want to take second place to a child. Other people will not mind that you’re parenting. Before getting into a serious relationship, discuss how it will affect you and your baby.

What rights do grandparents have?
Grandparents are very special and important people in your child’s life and history. However, by law, birth parents are the only ones who have rights and responsibilities toward the child. Look to help from your parents as only a temporary solution. It is important for you to be as independent as you can. If you do live with your parents, keep in mind that you may need to follow a few rules.

What are Lamaze classes and should I take them?
Lamaze classes can help you and your partner prepare for the delivery of your baby. If you do not have a partner, bring a friend with you. Lamaze classes cover normal labor, birth and early postpartum situations, positioning techniques for labor, pregnancy comfort techniques, and other guidance for pregnancy, labor, and breastfeeding. Please contact Nebraska Children’s Home Society for information on Lamaze classes in your local area.

How do I childproof and prepare my home for the baby?
Childproofing your home simply means making your home safe for your baby and removing possible dangers. Here are several ways of childproofing your home:

• Put all medicines, cleaning products, and bug killers out of your baby’s reach.
• Cover all electrical outlets with plastic guards.
• Check for sharp edges on furniture and cover with plastic guards.
• Remove dangling objects like electrical cords and tablecloths.
• Block stairs if you have them in your home with a stair gate.
• Do not have small objects or food lying around. The baby could choke on these.
• Make sure all houseplants are out of your child’s reach because the leaves can be poisonous.
• Post emergency phone numbers, including your doctor’s, near the phone.

Breastfeeding or Formula?
Before your baby is born, you will want to decide whether you choose to breastfeed or bottle-feed your baby. This is something you may want to discuss with your doctor or healthcare provider. Breastfeeding is good because it provides special nourishment and is always ready when your baby needs food. It is also less expensive than formula. However, breastfeeding may not be best for you and your lifestyle.

If parenting doesn’t work out, can I still choose adoption later?
You are not a bad parent if single parenting becomes too difficult and you decide to look into adoption. It takes courage to realize that by yourself you cannot provide all that your child needs. However, it can be very difficult to separate from a child that you have bonded with and have parented. Know that you can always call Nebraska Children’s Home Society at any time for assistance and support.

When do I need to decide if I am going to parent or choose an adoption plan?
This is your decision and you have as long as you need to decide what is best for you and your baby. Call us at Nebraska Children’s Home Society for ongoing support and education provided to you for a lifetime.

What if I don’t know who the father is?
It is important that you give as much information as possible so that the father can be identified. Identifying the father allows you to have support from him, including financial support. Your child has a right to know his or her parents. And the father has a right to know that he has a child.

What support is expected from the father?
The father is legally responsible to provide financial support for the child. Please understand that your child is entitled to financial support. The father is expected to pay support based on his and your income. In addition, he may be ordered to provide health insurance and help pay the cost of the child’s birth or medical expenses.

How can NCHS Help?
We can help you with your personal plan, and we can give you more information about how to decide whether or not single parenting is for you. Remember, you can call our toll-free number at any time- 800-390-6754 or reach a caseworker at a local office or email us at support@nchs.org .

We’re here to help you no matter what you decide. We are simply interested in helping you to find the best plan for you and your child. Once you get together with one of our caseworkers, we can talk about taking care of your pregnancy-related needs and about the decisions that lie ahead for you.

Your meetings and phone calls will all be held in the strictest of confidence, and you won’t be obligated to do anything. We want to see your child living a happy life with the best possible chances for meeting his or her own goals for a great future. Call or e-mail us to find out more about how we can help you to make the best decision for your baby and for you.